Arrogant Soft by Alfonso Brown – ★★★☆☆
Arrogant Soft tackles love, masculinity, and religious faith within Black community
Arrogant Soft follows a couples’ game night that quickly draws out the competitive spirit and unresolved conflicts between lovers and friends. As the group cycles through rounds of charades, karaoke, and revealing social experiments, it becomes clear that their faith in each other (and God) is the most significant contender of the evening.
For Bria (Savannah Kityo) and Fraser (Warren Graham), having a third presence in their relationship, be it Fraser’s porn addiction or their mutual Christian faith, is not the unicorn that will resolve their issues with intimacy. In an effort to bring more joy and connection into their lives, they invite Bria’s college friend Lola (Martine Harrison) and her long-term partner John (playwright Alfonso Brown) over for games. But when they arrive, so do comparisons, insecurities, and judgments about what makes a winning relationship.
The play juxtaposes newly engaged Bria and Fraser, who exude a polished, buttoned-up presentation, with the stagnant six-year partnership of their “hardly esteemed guests” Lola and John, hailing from South London in joggers. The contrast is not just about the length of their relationships or implied respectability politics. It’s about growth, faith, and whether emotional intimacy is believed to be possible in the pursuit of either.
Within Black community, music and religion often anchor our ideals of love and healing. Director Elizabeth Ayodele paces the story with a gentle rhythm, making space for charm, comedic relief, and emotional depth. Music becomes a tool of transition and expression where words falter. Whether it’s Fraser belting Gladys Knight with Bria on BVs, Lola hyping Bria as she busts it down to Destra Garcia, or Fraser and John trading childhood hymns, these moments deepen the characters’ connections. Bria and Fraser’s duet of “their song” Carl Thomas’s ‘I Wish’ evokes a nostalgic “old school R&B kinda love”—romantic, but complicated. Suggesting that the concept of Black love can at times feel forbidden. While the couples bring warmth and playfulness to the night, the emotional undercurrent often slips into something more guarded, even quietly withholding.
Graham plays Fraser with comedic flair and emotional sensitivity, revealing a character who opens up quickly, if tactlessly, before the first game even begins. His rejection of therapy, despite being engaged to a therapist, and reliance on a male Bible study group for confiding highlight a rigid, gendered approach to emotional labor. Kityo brings steady composure to Bria, whose quiet acceptance of Fraser’s emotional limits feels at odds with her professional understanding of vulnerability. Whether this stems from religious conditioning, therapeutic ethics, or both, the play leaves unanswered. John, in contrast, is secretly in therapy but remains emotionally closed off to Lola. Dismissive and sometimes intimidating, he paints himself as misunderstood while minimizing her concerns. His self-work is undermined by his refusal to share it. Ironically, he connects more openly with Fraser than with his long-time partner.
The title Arrogant Soft gestures to the tension within individuals of the play rather than that between the lovers and friends. Formidable posturing that conceals a deep yearning for love, understanding, and connection. But it’s the women who are most affected by the emotional contradictions of their counterparts and left without true resolve. Bria and Lola often stand coping off-stage or in hushed conversations in the kitchen. Bria’s professional empathy contrasts sharply with Lola’s bold skepticism and ultimately diminishes Lola’s instincts to question the structural issues she feels in her relationship. Harrison conveys this emotional turmoil tenderly with quietly repressed rage. While Lola’s resistance to faith and self-doubt could offer deeper complexity, her arc feels underdeveloped. Ultimately, the women’s passivity is framed as either virtuous in Bria or combative in Lola, underscoring the way patriarchal dynamics and socially conditioned gender roles continue to define and distribute emotional expectations in romantic relationships.
Though the play’s resolution too simply relies upon the power of song and prayer to miraculously mend the bonds of couples who lack mutual respect, trust, and compatibility, what can be deduced from those moments is a shared desire for community. That said, the final gesture of John asking Fraser to pray for him does land with a certain sincerity. There’s clear passion in the writing and performances, but what’s missing is a stronger reckoning with the more complex emotional truths the play gestures toward.
By Kennedy Jopson